So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
