just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
