u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
