i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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