your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
