Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
