How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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