just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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