I think i sorta joined a cult last night
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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