everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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