also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
