Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
