Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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