your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
