I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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