Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
How external is "for external use only"?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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