I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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