nut hugger
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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