Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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