The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Shame is for Republicans.
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