Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
