I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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