Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
