Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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