im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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