Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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