Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
