Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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