A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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