Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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