I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
