Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Randomize
