it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
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As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think a kid would responsible me up
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
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I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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