I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Damn victory sex feels great
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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