the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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