im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We need to get me chipped asap
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
