i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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