are you so shy because you have an std?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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