I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
