And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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