Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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