I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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