I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
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I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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