at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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