If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
