Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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