fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
