my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
