Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
