I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
