I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I had to cum in my sink.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
