I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
