You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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