Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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