im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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