do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
