Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize