Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
