I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You're breaking my sexual little heart
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
